In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
barbara walters just said penis...
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize