Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
