Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize