My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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