Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
