Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
