Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
