Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
