I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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