why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Damn victory sex feels great
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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