I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
