when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
