So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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