i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
