Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.