By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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