I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
