Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
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Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.