I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
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Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
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I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?