A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am midnight drunk by noon
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize