I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Houston, we have a blender
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I would ride that face into the sunset
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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