i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
