so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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