He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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