I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
