i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
