I want you more than these girls want KFC
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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