Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
