just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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