I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
