I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
