kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
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The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
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I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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