she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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