Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
