Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
