I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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