I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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