(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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