census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
