Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
