Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize