i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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