You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
