That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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