Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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