You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize