I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
