My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
