in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
