So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
40s are totally the cure
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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