he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
