You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
