Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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