OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
