he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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