perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
