What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
