i permit you to call me
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize