so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
