she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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