They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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