i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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