Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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